Taking Steps

After having suffered PND after I gave birth to Zachary and then depression after my son's diagnosis it was time for me to make some changes in my life to cope better. This time I knew I had to make a lifestyle change because I don't believe therapy and medication is enough to help combat depression. So I took steps changing my diet and calorie intake, I'm not on a diet and I still enjoy my treats, just in moderation. I had been doing this since the beginning of the year but it still wasn't enough, so a little over a week ago I joined the gym again, it's only been 3 years hahaha. I've been nearly everyday and if not I'm finding a way to exercise at home even if it's only 20 minutes.
So in the last 10 days I've been feeling amazing, my moods of being tired and cranky are gone and I have so much more energy. My marriage is even benefiting from it. Amazing what a healthy lifestyle can do for our bodies, only if more people knew, I just wish I started this a long long time ago.

Tomorrow we are doing the Bridge to Brisbane, a 5km walk. My husband and boys will be also joining me, but the boys will be in a twin pram. I'm more than ready and we've already set ourselves a goal to complete the race in under 30 minutes. It's also for a good cause, raising money for the AEIOU foundation in which my son attends. Tomorrow I will be walking for my son and many other children with autism.

Wish us luck!

Jade

Training Wheels

Lachlan has quite poor coordination and gross motor skills. So today being a really nice day and both boys enthusiastic about riding their bikes I decided I'd work hard with Lachlan teaching him the basics to riding like pushing the pedals with his feet. Zachary has already worked out at 2 how to ride his bike so I thought it was time for Lachlan to better understand it all. I realise he'll work it out on his own eventually I just find it hard watching my 2 year old capable of activities Lachlan should be able to do for his age.
Anyway we worked together for a good 30 minutes and Lachlan still didn't understand the concept of riding a bike. I then became frustrated and walked away to cool off. I know I'm suppose to have more patience with my son but surely I'm not the first mother to get angry. I feel bad for getting angry. I didn't let either boys see my fustration. I know he will take longer to learn things at his own pace, I just had a sudden urge to push him hard today.

I know I'm not the only parent to get frustrated or angry trying to teach their ASD child and I know we're suppose to be more patient and understanding, but....

Jade

Facing Reality

How have I dealt with my son's diagnosis?

Easy, I haven't exactly. I've put up a front to those who are around me and who are closest to me. To say that I am coping and staying strong is an understatement. In actual fact I'm just taking each day as it comes and a little more each day I am more accepting of the ASD dx. My world has been turned upside down, my perfect little boy now has many challenges ahead. Yes my son is still the same person as before the diagnosis, but it has changed our lives dramatically. An Autism diagnosis does not only affect the person invloved but the whole family. It really is hard to try and explain this to people, because they will try and sympathise, but they will never understand completely the heartache I've gone through as a mother.


So here is a little insight from 'Autism Speaks, It's Time to Listen' website;

"It's not easy to hear the news that your child has autism, and realize that your life will be utterly different than you had expected it to be. Daily life with a special-needs child presents many unique challenges. How do you come to terms with the fact that your child has autism? How do you cope once you get over the initial shock?".

"You are never prepared for a diagnosis of autism. It is likely that you will experience a range of emotions. It is painful to love so much, to want something so much, and not quite get it. You want your child to get better so much you may feel some of the stages commonly associated with grieving. You may “revisit” these feelings from time to time in the future. Part of moving forward, is dealing with your own needs and emotions along the way."


In the meantime I'm still pushing forward with each day, and praying my son will have the best life possible.
It's still only quite new to my family and I, as it's only been 3 half months since the diagnosis from the Paediatrician, so I really shouldn't expect myself to be so in control, but that's just who I am. I have had to face many challenges in my 27 years and it has made me an extremely strong person, but nothing has prepared me for this curve ball.

I'm a very positive person, so I have a very positive outlook on my son's future. It's just going to take time/years.


Jade

Cheeky Monster

So I thought I'd talk a little about my son Zachary, although our lives are quite busy with Lachlan I still ensure I have enough equal time for both of my boys. I do not want Zachary to feel left out or neglected, I know these feelings all too well from my own childhood.

Zachary has recently had his 2nd birthday and what a great day it was. I still can't get my head around the fact that my little cheeky monster is no longer a baby :(

I know people tell you that you should never compare your children but it's really hard not to, especially with Lachlan having ASD and with Zachary being NT I compare everyday. But it is something that I keep to myself. For example Zach's speech is just exploding, the clarity and general understanding totally shocks me for a 2 year old. I never had this with Lachlan so it truly is wonderful to watch, now please don't take me out of context as it's not that I don't think watching Lachlan grow is wonderful, which it is, it's just different. It's hard to explain, but I think most parents of an ASD child with NT siblings would understand where I am coming from.

Today Zachary and I met up with my mother for lunch, now my mother hasn't had a lot to do with the boys as she lives so far away, but Zach really does remember "nana" and it was beautiful to watch them both together today. On our way to meet my mum we could see her from a distance and he points out saying "nana nana" "look nana". Within the first 5 minutes of meeting up Zachary was holding my mums hand again saying "nana" and allowing her to walk him to the cafe for lunch, now even on a good day I have trouble trying to get him to hold my hand while walking. Anyway throughout lunch he would interact on many occassions with my mum and it was truly a wonderful moment. Today I saw a bond between them both, a bond that I hope will last a life time. I too had an amazing bond with my 'nana' who is no longer with us. I guess I've kind of got of track but anyway I spoke with my mum tonight and she told me that in the last 4 weeks that she had seen him he has grown so much overall. I do agree with her, not being biast at all. I think Zach is quite clever and cheeky, he keeps me busy at the best of times and I think he is going to keep me on my toes. He seems to get bored very easily so I will now need to find more activities to keep him interested, Zach loves his art so I think maybe it's time to introduce craft time, my household is about to get a whole lot messier hahaha.


My boys are my reason for getting out of bed every morning, and I love what a new day brings. Hopefully a good nights sleep and no tantrums! Haha

Jade

Baby steps

Lachlan had his first Occupational therapy appointment and I was totally amazed with how well he coped and that he managed to stay focused and concentrate for the best part of an hour. I was not the only one in awe, the therapist had only seen him 4 weeks prior for the assessment and she was just amazed, in a good way of course.

I've since learnt he works better with visual aids for his tasks and daily routine. I've also come out of the session with more strategies on what I can work on with Lachlan especially in regards to the Sensory Processing Disorder. As an example I purchased an electric toothbrush, now I had done this in the past but only now does the teeth brushing seem to be working. We also got him a bean bag which we've found he finds this to be calming.

I have a few visual aids I can work with but plan on getting some more. I'm also still debating on whether or not to get a tablet that I can work with, with Lachlan on his speech, as his private speechy is now doing.

But that can wait for now, I'll look into a tablet down the track. There's already more money going out than what's coming in. Now I can see why so many families have financial strain with children whom have special needs. We do the best we can for them at any cost. Anything that'll help our children out in general society, if only there were more people aware and more funding.

So anyway I'm pleased to see improvements in my son and I'll endeavour to keep working with him.

Jade

Never ending..

So as the title suggests I feel as though my sons therapy is never ending. He's had 3 full days this week at AEIOU and he is just so exhausted, and to be honest so am I.. We had initially looked at having Lachlan do the early intervention program full time, glad I changed my mind. It must be so tiring for the children, I know it's beneficial to their future, but when do our kids get a break?! I'm also having a guilt moment because Lachlan has his first Occupational Therapy appointment tomorrow morning since his assessment, which came back with SPD or Sensory Processing Disorder. Yes another disorder to add to the list, which makes 3 in total now. So my point is I really think I need to pull back on some of his therapy he has privately outside of AEIOU because I think it's getting to be too much for him, and he's still a kid and I need to just let him be a kid, relax and just play. If only society wasn't so harsh on those with ASD or if society were more aware and accepting perhaps we wouldn't have to push our children so hard in the early intervention programs just so they can conform and 'mainstream'.

Anyway I've answered my own question and I am going to pull back on the private therapy for the time being and I'll keep working with him at home the days he's not at AEIOU. Plus I think I'll benefit from this too, my head is jam packed full of information and any more to add to it right now just might cause it to explode haha.

Jade

Just a little about my family and Lachlan's journey so far..

My name is Jade and I'm married to Rick and we have 2 amazing little boys, Lachlan and Zachary.

I was a young naieve mum at 23. I never knew the journey I would have ahead raising 2 boys 19 months apart. Life has been hectic and shows no sign of slowing down anytime soon.

Lachlan is my eldest at 3, he is my little outdoors adventurer and loves to climb.
Zachary almost 2, is quite outgoing and very cheeky. They are both completely different in almost everything which I love.

Life has sent us on an up and down hill journey, but that is just life. Life will always be unpredictable.

Here is just a little about Lachlan's journey so far.
Lachlan my eldest has had a recent diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder, or as most people know it as ASD.
I had always known my little boy was 'different' in some ways to his peers. I had a feeling since he was about 15 months old. I saw signs then but at the time was unware of the 'red flag signs'.
Developmentally he reached all the milestones required in the first 12 months, including limited speech. It was around 13 months that he began to show an aversion to many foods, I was then told it would just be a phase. Around 15 months I noticed another a change, in which he began to speak less and less of the few words he could already say. It was then I decided to enrol him into daycare thinking he needed that social interaction. Lachlan's GP at the time had again ensured me his speech and hearing were ok for his age group.
After some time I began to really become concerned with the amount of hearing infections he had, they seemed to be too frequent. We worked it out to be 17 in total until the age of 34 months. After seeing and Ears, Nose and Throat specialist we soon learnt Lachlan had a 'glue ear' along with narrow Eustachian Tubes. He required day surgery where he had a grommet inserted into each ear. Since then his hearing is now just below the normal category, which is really great.
After 6 months of the grommets we had noticed no improvement in his speech, so I then sourced out a Speech Therapist for an assessment. He was diagnosed with Mixed Receptive Expressive Language Disorder or MRELD. Lachlan began speech therapy in November 2011, and with no improvement by February 2012 I stopped the therapy sessions.
The daycare Lachlan attends had some concerns, they came to me in early February 2012 and wrote up a report on his behaviour. It was then I realised again his 'differences' were clearly something else. I then made an appointment for Lachlan to see a psychologist whom was qualified in doing a developmental assessment. In late March 2012 we received the psycholgist's diagnosis of ASD and MRELD.
Then in early May 2012 Lachlan saw a Paediatrician. It was then confirmed the ASD diagnosis.
Rick and I have since helped Lachlan come a long way because we now have a better understanding of him. I have had to change many things including my parenting techniques and so on. I am now starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
As for therapies Lachlan is now attending part time at a daycare type setting that has an early intervention program. He also sees a Speech Therapist fortnightly and about to begin with an Occupational Therapist, which he only recently has been assessed with.
In the short amount of time since his diagnosis the changes in Lachlan that I have seen are phenominal. I am most proud of his effort with his speech, the speech has improved so much. I also work with him at home on the speech for as long as he will let me, which is maybe only about 20 minutes a day, but it's better than nothing.
Lachlan still has a long road ahead of him, but for the time being his small accomplishments are enough, or as the saying goes 'baby steps'.
I will keep you all updated on Lachlan's progress.

Just like to add that I'm a very proud mum to both of my boys. They are my everything and I wouldn't change them for anything.